Black Friday

Posted: March 21, 2011 in Music
Tags: , ,

So we’ve all heard that incredible new song by Rebecca Black, right? You all love it, right?

Gee-nee-us

Without a word of a lie, the first time I had the pleasure of hearing this song I was entirely impressed. Here we have a girl of only thirteen successfully satirising all the pre-pubescent Disney Channel pop icons that pervade the music industry, and in such a believable way. She looks thoroughly uncomfortable throughout the performance, singing every line with a forced smile that seems to reveal some hidden inner turmoil – unlike her real-life Mickey Mouse Club counterparts who all own a relentless Chesire Cat smile. The lyrics are hilariously dire (“We, we, we, we so excited”), not far from the sort of songs that the Lonely Island boys would release, and Rebecca’s strategized pronunciation of the word “Friday” is so irritating that you can’t help but release a wry laugh. Add to this a gloriously cheesy video that takes the usual representation of teenagers in an adult world to overt extremes – thirteen year olds driving cars, ‘getting down’ and ‘partying’; an awful attempt at auto tuning, and a needless interlude from an anonymous black rapper who enjoys pointing out the inane: “I’m driving…….passing by is a school bus”. No matter what her motivation, or what team is behind her, Rebecca Black has seemingly delivered a delicious pop-spoof; It’s Justin Bieber as Spinal Tap. Or so I thought.

"Groundbreaking" work

Yesterday I discovered, to my horror, that this ‘’incredible spoof’’ was in fact a straight-faced bid at fame by another talentless, teenage X-Factor wannabe. The song and delivery are scarily poor; no wonder it went viral, from 3,000 to 18 million views in a week. My respect for her has now been completely removed, replaced with a dissatisfied pity. Lucky for Rebecca, she can be forgiven for her lack of talent – a product of her youth, and I assume, a pushy but disastrously praising mother (she reportedly paid $2000 for the studio time and video production as a birthday present. Think we may see her on My Sweet 16 in a few years…). Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for ARK Music Factory, the producers and writers of the song. They have no excuse for creating such an absurdly awful song, and charging so much for it! Apparently Rebecca has received death threats over this, so I hope they are comparatively punished as a company…

Oh well, another one bites the dust. She clearly isn’t going to get anywhere in the music world, so let’s hope she has something else to fall back on. Maybe she can be a cheap Salma Hayek lookalike in the future. Although, why anyone would require such an act now is beyond me.

Oh and for those of you that understood the very subtle Cypress Hill reference in the title, gold star. Here’s your reward, a spoonful of sugar and all that:

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